When do our compromises turn into toleration? Let’s think about this for a minute and breakdown compromise and toleration. We’re taught that compromise is part of making a relationship work. It’s the give and take between two people.
Then something happens – We start over compromising and don’t even realize it. Perhaps, it’s the people pleaser in us. Perhaps we want to look good in front of our boss or friends? Or, maybe we need to prove that we can really do something. This all leads to toleration. Let’s check in and see if you resonate with any of these:
We start tolerating really long hours instead of taking care of our self and our families.
We start tolerating how someone treats us instead of sticking up for ourselves.
We start tolerating that pain in our body instead of seeking treatment or figuring how we got that pain in the first place.
We tolerate that weight gain instead of changing our eating and exercise habits.
When we start compromising too much – it reaches a toleration factor. You’re no longer compromising here and there, you’re outright tolerating something. This robs us of our precious time and energy. How often does this toleration consume thoughts in our head and deviate us from what we really need to focus on?
When we carry this concept into the rest of our lives, we too often fail to recognize these daily tradeoffs. We’re not conscious of what we’re choosing between. Instead we’re glued to our daily to-do-list. And, work that to-do-list all day long. We need to wake up and recognize there are tradeoffs with every choice we make.
A healthy compromise: I’ll work late on Thursday so I can spend half of Friday with my kid on a field trip or leave early for a weekend road trip with friends.
An unhealthy toleration: A colleague continues to demean you at meetings in front of a client.
Take a moment – What you are tolerating in your life right now? Look at personal, professional, financial, health, hobbies, etc. What efforts can you instill now to change the current landscape? It’s not easy. We’ve all, at one time or another, purposely avoided dealing with an issue. I’ve been there, too! Yet, I learned the hard way. I lost who I was in the process. When we avoid something, we compromise our true self and our desires.
What I want for you is to unleash your best self. To do this, we must stop tolerating and promptly, without further delay, handle the situation at hand. Your heart and mind will thank you for it.
Do you need help in expressing your courageous self? Join me for a complimentary session and let’s get you back on track!
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