At first, vines can add beautiful rich green color to a garden or along a trellis. Yet, left unchecked these vines can take over the side of a house, an entire garden, or even strangle a tree. While the vines are beautiful at first, they serve as your commitment to something new yet may turn into the very thing you wanted to avoid.

The interplay between control and commitment comes to the fore front. The commitment begins as a new path forward. Something new to explore and create a deep desire for something. Perhaps it’s your work, maybe taking care of your family or even a fun hobby. The simple idea of planting a vine for beauty.

Vines can be beautiful yet if they’re never trimmed back they become unwieldy growing everywhere taking over every piece of ground it can grow on. This overcommitment starts drowning out the original intention, it turns into control and loses the original intention.

Whether work dominates over family,
Whether taking care of a child dominates over having personal time, or even
When a hobby becomes a distraction for not handling basic responsibilities or paying bills.

This turns into commitment disguised as control. It’s usually in our subconscious. We don’t even realize we’re doing it until we take the time to assess what our true priorities and real passions are. Left unchecked, the vines become bigger issues. The way over-controlling takes over and shadows other key areas of our life.

When commitment is disguised as control, we do this in the name of emotional security. We retract in our shells until we (artificially) deem it safe to come back out again. We’re afraid something bad will occur if we don’t take care of this commitment. (Again, it’s not a commitment, it is controlling the situation.) It’s how we abandon ourselves for the artificial higher sake of something else.

It’s time to pause, take a couple of deep breaths, and commit to a new emotional life. When we commit to this, control naturally dissolves. Then a new emotional foundation emerges.

What would life feel like if you were always on purpose? Knew exactly what to do at the right time?

What emotions would you love to feel daily?

I guarantee it’s not anger, resentment, or exhaustion. It’s probably more of peace, joy, and connection.

Bring in the emotional life that will make you thrive. Commit to self-nurturing. We can only receive when we are relaxed and feel satisfied in the moment.

© 2023. Lora Polowczuk. All Rights Reserved.